Tuesday, July 7, 2020

與「台灣失序者聯盟」對話 – 上集

本系列為MadinAsiaPacific與台灣失序者聯盟(失序盟)成員的對話,失序盟成員從失序者/瘋人/酷兒的位置出發,探索台灣精神失序相關議題。本系列內容於MadinAsiaPacific分為上、下集發表,並另有刊載英文版。 台灣失序者聯盟成員暨作者 王修梧 郝天行 林昭生 秀 感謝劉昆峰與曾郁翔協助我們諸多題項的翻譯 關於台灣失序者聯盟 「失序者聯盟」由四個朋友組成,我們都是台灣心理健康、精神醫療資源的使用者/倖存者,帶著大大小小的精神疾病診斷,與進出精神科病房或門診的經驗。我們於2019年10月20日確定以「失序者」這個稱呼定位自身,因為我們認為所有的精神失序,必定都有其社會性,是與某組社會常規的脫離。如「過度」的情緒與行為的「脫序」,含有脫離特定社會化的情感表達、感覺結構、人際互動的意涵;社會也優先預設大多數人感知的現實為真實,而否定「妄想」的意義。 失序盟是一個新成立的草根組織,非立案組織,成員用自己工作之餘的時間碰面、合作,從彼此培力開始,慢慢前進。我們目前還未設立對外的官方網頁。雖然組織看似年輕,但我們並非倉促成軍,各自也都在不同田野,有多年的使用者/倖存者運動組織參與、倡議經驗。在組織名訂定為「失序盟」以前,我們便透過日常聊天、交流,慢慢形成「一起做點什麼吧」的想法,討論議題、分享生活經驗、閱讀「瘋狂/癲狂」主題的文獻資料,尤其希望爬梳台灣在地的癲狂史、癲狂文化。我們希望跟羅伊波特的《瘋狂簡史:誰定義了瘋狂?》一樣,能夠從使用者/倖存者/瘋人的角度,來看精神失序的文化與體制治理脈絡。西方精神醫學是台灣精神醫療機構形成的基礎,從日治時期逐漸建立,如今西方精神醫療已經成為在地分類與治理身心痛苦經驗的主流工具,而來自不同脈絡與處境的失序者另類發聲,卻非常稀薄。 「失敗感」是失序者普遍的生存經驗。我們從彼此身上辨認出三種「失敗敘事」:首先,是各自使用者/倖存者運動經驗中經歷的挫敗感。我們過往談論議題、組織參與的過程中,有許多讓我們至今仍困惑、創傷的經歷。台灣缺乏精神失序者集體運動歷史,因而較無抵抗能量與結社資源;來自差異背景的失序者彼此難以磨合;失序者缺少家庭以外的自助社群網絡;同儕支持實作與倫理的論述與工具匱乏,上述面向都是各種運動挫敗經驗形成的脈絡,我們希望從這些脈絡回看自身倡議的歷史。第二,則是使用心理健康資源、向專業體制求助卻再度創傷、求助無門的挫敗經驗。醫源性傷害是常見的,除來自專業體制運作缺乏使用者觀點,還包含無中立投訴機制等權力不均因素。第三,就是我們各自生活的失敗感。我們都是廿、卅歲左右的青年,理當對生活有願景,但各種青年貧窮世代的結構性因素不只扼殺對未來的想像,也帶來生活風險,如都市的高房租房價、難以找到理想工作,遑論追求職涯等。即使失序盟成員相對幸運,有機會從高等教育體制內累積文化資本,但文化資本轉為經濟資本的機會並不豐富,甚至不見得能帶來穩定的生活。我們兼有酷兒、暴力倖存者等位置,多獨居生活,缺乏穩定的社會支持。創傷的複雜性與生存的掙扎讓我們「發瘋」了,但現代精神醫療系統卻簡單地殖民我們的受苦經驗,標籤我們的發瘋為各種症狀,而鮮少理解苦難的來源:社會壓迫、創傷,與缺乏連結。

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